Absent Crushes, Bitchy Ex-Best Friends and Too Much Algebra Homework

Michael wasn't at school all this week b'cause he got suspended for something stupid. My Mom says I should wait for him to approach me when it comes to phone #'s, hangout, etc.. I don't really have that kind of patience after, oh say 5 yrs. of rejection from crushes. I'm losing interest and I want to get to know him. No one is really giving me support for that, so, maybe I'll just give up on guys, go goth and focus mainly on my studies. Alicia (my ex-best friend) turned into a preppy bitch after Orchestra Retreat and I'm not taking it, so she isn't my friend anymore. I suffered with a lot of algebra homework that pilled up and Mom kept yelling at me for it. My Mom stopped helping get up in the morning, and she hates the music I listen to. She complains about everything, and she's snappy. I don't know what is going on with her, I just know she's being mean lately.

I just broke one of our cups. I poured cold soda into a hot glass (dummy) and it cracked. I heard it and then I saw it. I can't do anything right. I need to go to sleep.

Later.
K.Girl

Some Depressing Moments but...RETREAT ROCKED!

Okay, now before I get into the thing about Retreat, I got mixed up in a huge event. My friend Jason and Savana were going out and Savana started liking this guy named B.J. So she kept saying that she would break-up with Jason...but she didn't. She even started going out with him on Thursday, a day before orchestra went on Retreat. There was at this one point before that made me feel horrible. I led Jason on a quick second, and then I got him off by saying Savana wouldn't talk to him b'cause she was PMSing. She said I was good for lying to 'im. I eventually told him that same day, and he's going to handle it when he gets home. So now I have to watch out for a walking hell on Monday coming for her revenge. Anyway, Retreat is orchestra goes away on the weekend to get a good look at their music along with fun and games. WE had a blast. We didn't go to the regular place (it was Rock Eagle, but the teacher caught pnemonia. She's a diabetic, and when the doctors swithed her medicine, it screwed her up real bad. We had to cancel three events because she had to be out for a few days), but it was fun. We went canoing, and we bunked in cabins while telling scary stories (a few girls shared top bunks b'cause they were scared). It was awesome, we even our mastered our music. All the couples made me sick, and Jason and Ryan understood. We packed up after lunch, loaded the U-Haul and the buses. I had a great weekend. I gave Michael a sticker with my phone number on it. He didn't call (that's probably my fault...he didn'y know my # was on the back). That's okay...I'll try again in a different way.

Gotta go enjoy the complex before I begin to dislike it again...
K.Girl ;)

Another Good Day

My Spanish class was good. We did "BINGO!" again. Algebra was great. First we had the surprise of a substitute that 'Dante was in love with. Then Michael came in (better late than never). He asked me for some candy, but I told him if he had been there earlier he would've gotten some gum. He seemed really sweet again. I'm going to keep myself from expecting him to be in tomorrow, Thursday, or Friday for that matter. Who knows? Maybe I'll get enough courage to give him my phone number and or my e-mail address. Orchestra was pretty good too. We hit a nerve today with Ms. Wilson though. We spent all our playing time finding music, we played until the bell rang. World Geography, we just did a test and some worksheets. I passed my physical test of Europe, the rest I bombed. I'm selling candy again. I'm pretty sure that Michael and the rest of my Algebra class will buy most of it. It's a sour assortment. It's really good. It's in this gargantuane box and I need to switch it out and put it into the yellow strap bag I have.

Got to go get started on my homework before Mom continues to bite my head off...
Later...
K.Girl

P.S. My crushes are:
Michael McNeil

My Cuties are:
Shanen
James Perkins

That's all folks.

Update for the Day

Well my weekend was great, that was a first. I went to my friend Niki's house and spent the night. We watched the 4th Inu Yasha movie (I barely caught any of it b'cause her brother wouldn't shut up and she wouldn't stop talking too). In the morning we ate Zaxby's (it was good). I went home and blasted my anime music and played Sims 2. I created a family with Michael and me, but we are just friends. Kinda like we are now. I've given up on Michael. He wasn't here today and I'm not expecting him to be in tomorrow. To tell the truth, I'm kinda losing interest in him. He's never in class, he's always behind in class, and he only really talks to me if I have candy or I can offer him an easy way out of make-up work. I actually feel great when I'm not thinking of him. I'm always in a better mood and I'm easier to get along with (that's kinda rare during my hyper, happy moods. I'm usually easy-going when I'm mellow or during my monthly). I had a great MONDAY (keyword MONDAY). I had a free day in orchestra. Spanish was fun too. We did "BINGO!" again or as they say in Spanish "BRAVO!" Algebra..... I PASSING THE CLASS!!! YAH! I HAVE A 89! THAT'S AWESOME!!!
World Geography, we got in trouble for Thursday b'cause we were to loud and one of the tachers got mad and then told on us. Ms. Aiken didn't even want to hear our side of the story. That's all right. I did good on the physical features part of our Europe test, but I know I bombed the political part of it. I wonder what it will do to my grade? Oh well, I find out soon enough. I have to go in early to finish my math test tomorrow. James P. is really cute, but I won't pursue him. I don't think he's interested in black girls or it could just be me. He likes this blonde (she dyed her hair brown, why is it that blondes want to be brunettes and brunettes want to be blondes? They're just going to switch back after awhile kinda like Ashley Simpson did.) Shanen, I think he has a girlfriend. He seems too evil to have one, but he doesn't seem to like me, so I probably won't pursue him either. One thing that I have finally realized is that I don't really need a guy who just isn't interested. I'll let them come to me (I'll basically treat them like any other guy who isn't my everyday friend). I need to go to bed. I'm feelimg kinda sleepy.

Sayonara,
K.Girl

I FEEL LIKE A PREPPY BITCH!!!

I feel like a complete &!%#@. I talk to my friends about my stresses and my worries.....but I never listen to them. I just talk and talk about the same guys, same songs, and the same things everyday. The quiet dork I never wanted to be, I'm better off being. Either that or the quiet goth who talks every now and then. Michael asked about me Wednesday. I didn't go in to school b'cause I had a dentist appointment and I got an extraction (I also might need braces). The novicane wore off and everything in my mouth started to hurt. Michael wasn't here today, but I want to still give him a chance (he's never in class and he's not in my lunch period, so the only time I see him is during dismissal [even that's rare]). Shanen isn't being mean anymore, but Ben made me realize something I hate about myself. When I was in elementary and middle school, I was called an annoying, cry baby. I hated that, and then I went into a stage where I took everything seriously. Now, I'm heading back into my past social life in school. Not only was I an annoying, cry baby, but my math was horrible and I almost got kicked out of orchestra. Now my orchestral issue, I have devised a plan and it will work wonderfully, I know it. Math; however, is very hard. For some reason I can't understand the material hands on like I used to. I feel like I'm failing, and the teacher can't seem to help me. He says he doesn't have the time and it's not his responsibilty to make sure I learn it, he just has to present it. Spanish is great. My World Geography class is great, I can get all the political and physical feature stuff. So... let's see....Ben basically pointed out that I'm annoying and immature. My friend Niki basically pointed out that I talk to much and don't listen enough to the people I talk to at school. My math grade is slowly slipping away from me along with my crush. Oh and let's not forget the regular girl problems:
The desire for my first kiss.
The desire for a boyfriend or just a guy friend to relate to completely (that means they don't have sarcascism in their voice when I ask them to come watch a thunder storm, watch the clouds, or stargaze with me).
The desire to be accepted, and not teased for my unity (for example, no one should be saying anything about my shoes, THEY ARE JUST !%#$@&* SKECHERS, WHAT IS THE BIG %#@!*+& DEAL?!!!!).
These are just the simple things I think about, this includes my parents financial issues and if they will affect me.

Got to go and relax....
Sayonara....
K.Girl

Way Too Much On My Head

Okay, let's see....... I have my orchestra dues and supplies to get. I need more T-shirts and pairs of jeans (for variety purposes). I need paper, and I need to figure out where to sell my lollipops (I'm doing a fundraiser for my orchestra class). Michael has a job ( YAH!),but he can't hang out on the weekends (AWW!). I'm even more stressed because my space bar is acting like a backspace button (I had to retype the whole previous sentence). I got a little upset over the phone with my Mom and I disrespect her with my tone (we just finished an argument and I just started another one). I can't seem to do anything right...... I didn't turn in practice records, I don't have my supplies, I haven't paid my 2nd and 3rd dues payment (just so you know this is all in orchestra [if it doesn't get paid or if I don't turn in practice time I will become a non-performer and be kicked out of orchestra {I don't want that, I love orchestra and playing my cello}]). I keep wondering if Michael likes me or not, if he just likes me for the candy sours I bring? I can't seem to think straight. My math is actually challenging and it worries me (I'm afraid I'll fail and have to repeat it [it never used to register, but now it bugs me something fierce everyday]). Spanish is okay, and World Geography is going well. I feel stupid in my orchestra class most especially because I might not be playing in tune, my position might be wrong, I may get sucked into the conversation going on around me that shouldn't. I just wanted to cry today in orchestra class. When we had started our scales, our teacher (she has diabetes and had to stay out for a few days, she came to visit and then left for a doctor's visit), Mrs. Wilson, called us out saying that we need to use more bow, we were out of tune, and that we needed to practice because we sounded horrible. She also told us that we were responsible for our bad playing and that she blames us for being lazy and not taking action. She says we can quit, but I don't want to, I'm dedicated. Just like I was through middle school. I don't know if she was talking to me or not, but it hurt knowing that she thought that. She is like a grandma, she inspires me (imagine your grandmother cursing you for doing as best as you know to do in a sport [so far]). I need to eat some cookies or something. I'm going to have a meltdown. I got my mother upset, I have no idea if I'm going to survive orchestra and Algebra. I have no idea if the guy I like is interested and I just can't seem to do anything right. What the hell is going on?
Did some one just curse me to a stressful freshman year like everyone else might be like?

Later.